I’ve spent the past few years studying the impact that routines, traditions, and rituals have on families and I can tell you, that from a scientific perspective, these small things matter a great deal. Little things like family dinners, game nights, fun vacations, and holiday traditions add richness to family life and help prepare children for adulthood.
American families are busier than ever before. We rush around trying to care for our children while running them to soccer games, ballet, music lessons, preschool, or private school. One mother said: “motherhood is like holding on to the back of a speeding train with her feet on the ground trying to either slow it down or catch up.”
For busy families, rituals and traditions can be like a breath of fresh air that clears out the hurry and allows them to relax and enjoy one another’s company. These special times strengthen family connections, build a strong group identity and create wonderful memories.
The first benefit of practicing family rituals is connectedness.
The loving bonds that are forged on family vacations and in daily family rituals help children feel confident in social situations and prepare them for loving relationships with their own spouses and children.
The second benefit is a strong Family identity.
Family identity is what a family believes about themselves. Rituals that create family identity include inside jokes, going to Disneyland every August and cultural traditions such as lighting a menorah for Hanukah. These rituals help families build reserves of strength and love that carry them through hard times because of their belief in the group identity. The seemingly small, sometimes goofy things that families do together add up to create the beautiful tapestry that is family identity.
My parents and their friends create meaning about the loss of my grandma by sharing memories and stories.
The third benefit is having wonderful memories.
Having wonderful memories is a motivating factor for practicing rituals. Why? Family members can use memories to gain perspective and change a bad day into a good one. Memories allow families to draw on one another’s strength and relive happy times to enhance their mood.
Rituals take everyday activities and elevate them to practices that bring joy and fulfillment to families. The investment of time and money that it takes to create these rituals is priceless because of the person and familial rewards. Missing out on these rewarding activities would, ultimately, be like missing out on the icing on a cake.
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